Be selfish- I learned that I need to take time for myself sometimes. And maybe that means not having dinner with my family, or staying out a little later than I expected, or having to cancel plans.
It’s okay- It’s okay to be selfish and say no! It’s okay because sometimes, that’s what you NEED to do. And people that aren’t okay with it, you don’t need them!
Say no- Say no to that project that you can’t dedicate your extra time to, say no to your friends who wants you to go to happy hour AGAIN, say no to yourself spending $40 in the target dollar section. If you can say no to it, you don’t need it. Period.
Enjoy the smallest things- I learned this one with my nephew! It’s the smallest moments with him that make me so happy. Like feeding him, or taking him on a walk, or putting him down for his nap. He won’t be so small forever, and I need to learn to enjoy every tiny moment that I have with him.
Get outside- Being outside in the sun makes me so happy! Doesn’t it make you happy?! This winter was so hard on me. I didn’t want to go outside because it was cold or wet or grey, but as soon as I got moving and outside I always felt better.
Spin class- Obviously I found my new found love for spin class! I can’t go a week without taking one. It’s an hour to myself where I’m mentally and physically working on bettering myself- which is so important.
Bettering yourself- I can’t expect to grow without doing this small task. I have to ask myself, is this making me a better person? Sometimes it’s yes (go me!) and sometimes it’s no (that’s the selfish part). Life is all about balance.
Therapy is good for my soul- I’m only 3 weeks into this one, but I’ve noticed a complete change in my attitude and my outlook. I am just that little bit happier, lighter, and more ME. I haven’t felt this good, this consistently, probably all year.
Sometimes, being reserved is GOOD- Specifically when it comes to work and the workplace. It’s good to be reserved, not everyone in the office needs to know your drama or your office politics. One of my Mentors told me to be a little bit pickier in who and what I share with, and I’m very grateful for her advice.
Make sure there’s a return- I love this saying. I GOTTA have a return on investment. My time is not free, and neither is anyone else’s. I need to know that I’m spending it doing something worthwhile, otherwise what is the point?!
Don’t spend unnecessarily- I do NOT need another black t-shirt, unless I throw two away. I do NOT need more paper straws, I just bought cute reusable plastic ones. I do NOT need to go to happy hour again, I can have a drink at home.
Be true to yourself- I don’t believe in the saying, people can see through you so be yourself, or whatever it is. It’s 2019 and everyone is plenty good at pretending. However, I can assure you that you will feel, internally, 200% better if you just stay true to yourself. Your anxiety and fears will go away, because you know you’re being authentic.
It’s okay to cut ties- I had to let go of a very toxic friend group this past year. It wasn’t easy, but it was necessary. Truly everything they did or said brought me down, and I had enough of it. This lead to a much slower social life, but I was having more authentic and genuine experiences with people who do matter to me.
Say yes- Be open to trying new things! I would have never known my coworkers so well, or tried spin class, or known I liked red wine, without saying yes to something new! You have to be open sometimes.
Routine does not being stagnant- I think a lot of us are afraid of routine, I used to be also. Sometimes I think my routine got me down, until I started incorporating things I enjoy doing (spin class, hanging out with my nephew, this blog, etc.) into my weekly schedule. Routine doesn’t mean that you’ve slowed down, or become stagnant- I think it means that you’ve found something that WORKS!
Plans change- go with the freaking flow!! For those of you who are control freaks, like myself, sometimes this is hard. But sometimes better things comes out of changed plans. I’ve learned to have a loose plan- I know that things will change and I need to be okay with it.
Put your phone DOWN- Be in the moment. Those Instagram stories and pictures and funny tweets will still be there in 5 hours when you’re done. I promise. And if they aren’t, then I’m sure you can find them posted online.
Gift your presence- Go places. Go see your family living in another country, or your best friend who lives on the other side of the state. Take that train ride into the city to see old friends and reconnect. Drive to your best friends work to drop off some flowers when she’s feeling down. They will appreciate it, no matter how big or small.
Know your worth- And make sure other people know it. Just like making sure there’s a return, know that you aren’t free. You don’t give and not get. Just like you don’t get without giving. Don’t be afraid to remind people of your worth. Or their worth!!
Enjoy being alone- I do like being alone! I like spending time by myself at the nail salon, at the gym, and typing away on my computer. I do not need someone else to make me feel complete. I’ve actually been single for over a year now, and it feels wonderful. I am whole by myself.
Closure comes in waves- Sometimes it takes a few months, replaying the situation over and over, for you to feel okay. Sometimes it’ll take two years, and the wound is only merely patched over. Sometimes you burn a bridge, right after you cross it. Closure is not a constant, and it cannot be replicated. Remember that you’re okay, and you’re safe, and you’re going to work through it. (Something my therapist told me.)
Stick to a color palette- TRUST! It is a hell of a lot easier to match black, white, red, and navy together. Sure a splash of purple or yellow is fine…but your suitcase and your work wardrobe will thank you.
Love yourself & your body- Do I feel better when my thighs aren’t rubbing against each other? Sure. But do I also feel great after I eat some cake at a birthday party? Also yes. I love my body and this has been something I’ve been working on for a while. I work out so I can eat and still feel confident!
Adjust your expectations- Probably the best thing my therapist has ever told me, and my biggest thing for my 24th year. I have always had high expectations of everyone and everything. And when I put all my faith in something, the return is often not matched. I need to refocus and adjust my expectations into something a little more realistic. Sometimes they need to be lowered (a lot of the time) and sometimes they can be higher (knowing my worth). These are another thing that are not constant or consistent, and I need to be more okay with that.